The Hindu articles

Some of my articles which appeared in THE HINDU.

At the mercy of the autocrat

Philip Joshua

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  The Hindu

Hiring an autorickshaw requires a flexible body because you need to wave your hands and twist your body like a kung fu master to attract the attention of the driver. I now wave my hands at a speeding auto, which takes a rash U-turn as if to oblige me. The driver slows down the vehicle and gives the impression that he is keen on taking me to my destination, but the moment I mention the name of the locality, he gives a shrug, picks up speed and zooms away as if he had hated me all his life.
But I am lucky. Another auto notices me and zooms in my direction. I notice that his collar is turned upward (meaning I'm the boss). I tell him my destination and he looks perplexed as if such a place did not exist. Finally, he recollects and nods his head. Then comes the standard quote “Meter kharab hai.” I jump into the vehicle before he can change his mind.
The driver suddenly bends down from his seat. Has he suffered a heart attack? Oh no! It is the only way he can pull the starter handle. He drops the handle with a thud. I begin to sweat because the meter has already started racing like Usain Bolt. The three-wheeled monster takes off with a jerk to a full blast of old Hindi songs. The auto is now in zig-zag mode and it closely misses hitting a buffalo. My heart skips a beat. Now it is in auto pilot mode with the driver raising both hands for a mini-stretch exercise. I am convinced that I am inside a torture chamber. The driver is enjoying the “Freedom of Speed” enshrined in his self-made constitution. My right foot is continuously pushing an invisible brake to the floor. If you have a weak heart condition, I'd recommend that you take some sort of sedative before getting into one of these things.
The signal turns red but our guy is keener on painting the town red. Luckily, good sense prevails and he slams on the brakes. I jerk forward and almost hit the roof, just like in some break dance sequence. The autocrat notices a traffic policeman and suddenly picks up a khaki shirt from nowhere and puts it on. We now move ahead and whenever he changes gear, the monster gives a nasty jerk which makes all my internal organs shake. The driver is not driving but just aiming his vehicle in the intended direction.
The driver spits out paan juice and the wind carries a few droplets on to my face and shirt. He presses the horn as and when he likes and throws a look at me to check if I am alive. The monster starts emanating weird sounds and is in full speed and gives a nasty jump every now and then as if possessed by some evil spirit. The radio in the auto blares Maar diya jaai ya chod diya jaai, which aptly sums up my mental and physical state. My mind and body go numb. The speed further increases, so do my hypertension, sweating and palpitation. I recoil in horror, recollecting all those kidnap scenes from movies. I feel like jumping off the auto. Added to this, the driver talks to me about fatal accidents that happen all over the city and that too when he is driving at breakneck speed. After much turbulence and physical distress, my destination is in sight. The faulty meter reads 40 rupees. I hand the autocrat 50 rupees and ask him to keep the change as a tip for keeping me alive.
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Not just a teacher, but counsellor and more

Philip Joshua

Many roles. File Photo: S. Mahinsha

The recent stabbing to death in Chennai of a teacher by a Class IX student raises serious issues on teacher-student relations. That matters can go to such extremes is alarming. It goes without saying that effective classroom management practices can be useful.
Clearly state the rules
Be consistent
Show students you care about each of them
Be flexible
Provide students with opportunities to make meaningful choices
Do not let rigid interpretation of rules skip common sense
Notice any variances in student mood, behaviour
Avoid confrontation in front of other students. (Instead, say “let's talk after class.”)
Validate students' perspectives and avoid blaming
Don't make assumptions about causes of problems; consider underlying issues
Link daily lessons to the life and needs of students; demonstrate relevancy
Create expectations of success for all students
Give students specific feedback on what they did right
Build on students' strengths
Possible precursors
to violence
A break-up with boy/girlfriend
Death/suicide of family member, friend, classmate, or community member
Parent separation and/or divorce
Public/peer humiliation
Exposure to violence, aggression, bullying, and/or gang conflict
Abuse (physical, sexual, and emotional)
Economic stress
Strained relationship between teacher and students
Academic stress
Responding to
warning signals
Acknowledge the student (e.g., “It seems like you are upset,” “What can I do to help you?”) and offer help and support
Consult with school personnel
Use a calm, positive tone when redirecting student conflicts; avoid confrontational language
Give students two or three choices of academic tasks to manage behaviour and increase success
Show encouragement when students struggle with social and/or academic issues
Use verbal praise intermittently in class and when students become reengaged
Restate expectations and classroom rules
Make certain that you are reinforcing the targeted behaviour you desire in your classroom
Use humour, but not sarcasm, to defuse conflicts
Some tips
Note any change in students' emotional and/or behavioural functioning.
Always consider social, cultural, and linguistic factors when judging student behaviour.
Remember you are not alone! Talk with a trusted colleague, mentor, administrator, or union representative and get outside assistance when needed.
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ATM shows the man you are

Philip Joshua

During my visits to the ATM, I have had many humorous encounters.
The first type is the doubtful person who holds the ATM card as if he is seeing it for the first time and looks at it like he is going to say bye to it. He takes his own sweet time to decide which side of the card to insert and looks back to see if anyone is watching.
The next type is the highly suspicious person who before entering the ATM room looks left, right and back to see if anybody is following him. He is now relaxed to find that all is well. Upon entering, he spreads himself as if to block the keyboard so that nobody will see him punching the pin. Once he withdraws money, he will count it twice at a leisurely pace before stepping out.
There is another species who upon completing the transaction relaxes in front of the air-conditioner, gives his hair a stroke, tucks in his shirt properly to make himself ready for the world outside.
Then you have the person who looks at the ATM as if it is a patient ready for surgery. He tries various options available on the menu screen and derives pleasure in each activity. He does everything possible with the machine except withdrawing money.
Now comes the person who uses the ATM room as a phone booth. He is not bothered about beginning his transaction. He just keeps talking. He is least concerned about the queue outside and occasionally glances back to give a nasty look.
Sometimes, you see a couple who enter the ATM. He helps her in understanding the working process of the ATM, flashes a smile and makes sure that she has understood the operation. He behaves as if it is he who has assembled the machine. In the process, glances are exchanged, hands are touched and finally they come out as if returning from an exam.
Finally, you have the person who is an ATM destroyer. He forcibly pushes open the door as if he is on a mission to destroy. The moment he enters, he forcibly inserts the card and makes an action in Rajnikanth style and punches in his password so hard that the keys are ready for first aid. He is impatient and bangs the ATM in case there is a delay. Poor machine, it is sure to create problems for the next person. To top it all, you have the person who after completing his transaction keeps pulling the door to come out. He is almost in panic mode as if he is trapped inside. Then someone gestures from outside to press a switch for the door to open.
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Next time you enter the lift, look out for these guys

Philip Joshua

TOPICS

people advice 

Life is an elevating experience. Literally so, given the number of times we board and exit the lift in a day. Have you ever taken a look and tried to analyse the kind of people who get into the lift and share that space with you? Broadly, they fall into these categories.
The tough guy: He presses both the up and down buttons with full force as if he has an age-old enmity with it. He is impatient and views the others waiting for the lift with suspicion.
Touch-me-not: This chap who is already in the lift looks at others entering it with a sense of domination and authority, as if the entire facility belongs to him. He does not believe in eye or body contact, come what may.
Ignoramus: This person, upon seeing that somebody is walking towards the lift, tries his hand at all the buttons except the one which is meant to keep the door open.
Anxiety man: Upon entering the lift, he looks all nervous, as if he will get trapped inside. He reviews emergency procedures, checks the total capacity of the lift, counts the passengers to check if more people have got into it.
Entry level: This person will always prefer to stand at the edge of the lift very close to the door and ignores advice to stand back a little. He feels that he is entitled to the number one position.
The mobile guy: He continues to talk loudly on the phone, constantly telling the person at the other end that he is inside a lift and therefore signals are weak. Needs a crash course in cellphone manners.
The ‘Hot' guy: He switches on the fan the moment he enters the lift.
The Olympian: This person does not wait for others to come out of the lift and zooms inside as if in a race.
The loner: This guy does not enter the lift if he is alone. He waits for company so that if the lift is stuck, he will have somebody to talk to.
The lift in the movies: Lifts are huge. Like in Kamal Haasan's Ek Duje ke liye or Salman Khan's Wanted. They get stuck. Songs are optional, depending on the director's vision.